…why am I getting pimples the size of Russia on my face? Hm? I’m just sayin. I thought that was an adolescent thing. I
thought by the time 22 hit, I would be immune to it. But nope. Sure enough… there it is… a nasty little bugger, right near the corner of my mouth. And when I mean size of Russia, I mean… whip out a map and stick this pimple on it, and I’m pretty sure that it would take up the equivalent space on my face as Russia does on said map. Okay maybe that’s a bit exaggerated. But still. Seriously.
And naturally this happens the day before an important job interview that I am scared out of my pants for. I’ve had some interviews for jobs I didn’t really care for that I didn’t really prepare for… because lets face it… why would I, a theology major, care about a data entry job for an automotive company? That’s like asking the Pope to work the drive through at McDonalds. Not that it’s a bad job… just that well, you know… the Pope is qualified for other things… other more important things.
And I’m terrified of this interview because it actually means something to me. Granted, it’s not exactly the job I went to college for… but it is still in the general environment which my degree is in (it’s an office assistant position at a Catholic university), and could at least get a foot in the door for another opportunity even more closely suited for whatever the heck I’m supposed to do for the rest of my life. Maybe. I’m actually preparing for this interview… meaning I am looking at mission statements, I am looking at programs this department in the school offers, I am preparing for questions that I may or may not be asked so I don’t sound like the bumbling idiot I’ve been sounding like for the past three months of my life… shoot, I am even YouTubing videos on how I should present myself to my potential future employer. Yesterday, I bought my first big kid suit… I even got the opinions of a couple salesladies before buying it… just to make *sure* I was portraying the correct image.
I’m freakin out.
So this morning, when I said hello to myself in the mirror and found Jupiter on my chin, I was not pleased. I know I can’t help pimples… but when I see pimples, I think teenagers. And when I got my big kid suit yesterday, I did not want to look “teenager,” I wanted to look “Catholic intellectual.”
And then I realized… God is trying to teach me something in this moment. I don’t NEED to be perfect. I need to be myself. I need to let my love of theology shine in my interview, not my adultyness. I need to trust that God will put me where I am needed. This pimple humbled me a bit. I mean I know I’m kind of a big deal, as I’m a child of God and all, but I should be willing to go where God leads me, not where I think I deserve to belong. I’m caught up in this frame of mind that I am a big bad college grad, I spent thousands of dollars for a piece of paper to put me in a job that will earn me more than minimum wage, I have been a good and faithful servant, I DESERVE this job. But the problem is that my ego might be getting a little too big. Sure I deserve happiness, but really, the reason I am alive and on this planet is bigger than me. I could very well work at the drive through at McDonald’s and be exactly where I need to be.
I’m not saying at all that I should disregard my wants and desires… as God designed me with those particular desires to begin with, and those desires are good. However, I have to be careful to not enter the territory of thinking I can do it all on my own, that everything is in my control. Because it’s not. Not needing to be in control is a great gift from God.
So I’ve got a zit the size of the sun on my face. So it’s unexpected and a pain in the kisser. I’ve just got to make my smile bigger, and my personality shine through even brighter. Because ultimately, a zit isn’t going to keep me from being where I need to be.